Ode to the Twinkie Words and music by Char MacKayF C Twinkies are the sponge cake that most everybody eats D7 G Without Twinkies many people say their lives are incomplete F C Others say they're alien chemical warfare and will never pass their lips D7 G I'm writing this for you my dears, and here's my Twinkie tips C G Twinkies are favorites with children C So don't dis them 'til you think of all their uses F I found a book while at the store C For training children, pets and more D7 G It says to train them with rewards - so no excuses C G Twinkies are good for refineries C They take out the bran and leave all of the starches F They taste much better made that way C They give refinery men their pay D7 G And we'll keep eating them so save your protest marches F G C A Oh, nothing's like a Twinkie, a golden tender Twinkie F G C A A sweet, enticing Twinkie to inspire the human race F G C A You know, there's nothing like a Twinkie, a golden, tender Twinkie F G C To put that smile you lost back on your face C G Twinkies are not loved by nutritionists C They will tell you that their calories are empty F Well I would like to argue that C Because I know that there Is fat D7 G And without it would never be as tempting F C A Twinkie is o tasty co-conspirator D7 G A Twinkie will befriend a man for life F C A Twinkie tastes like custard when its deep fried D7 G A Twinkie will bring peace from worldly strife C G You can rely on a Twinkie C When best friends fail and great romances falter F You'll find one underneath your couch C And when you pull it from its pouch D7 G The Twinkie's just the same it never alters F G C A Oh, nothing's like a Twinkie, a golden tender Twinkie F G C A A sweet, enticing Twinkie to inspire the human race F G C A You know, there's nothing like a Twinkie, a golden, tender Twinkie F G C To put that smile you lost back on your face C G A Twinkie can be very soothing C If you eat one when you're mad it will be calming F You will confront the human race C With a big grin upon your face D7 G And when you die you'll save expenses on embalming C G A Twinkie's unique and enduring C If you feed it to a pigeon it won't eat it F But when the atom bomb comes down C You'll want to have a few around D7 G Because when all the food is gone you'll really need it F G C A Oh, nothing's like a Twinkie, a golden tender Twinkie F G C A A sweet, enticing Twinkie to inspire the human race F G C A You know, there's nothing like a Twinkie, a golden, tender Twinkie F G C To put that smile you lost back on your face F G C F G And put you in a state of Twinkie grace C That's a Twinkie