Bouncing Potatoes - Poul Anderson

Once a jolly trufan went to join a Westercon; He had duly registered and paid every fee, And he sang when he saw what the waitress put before him there, "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." "Bouncing potatoes, bouncing potatoes, You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." And he sang when he saw what the waitress put before him there, "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." "Is this a musketball that was fired at Lexington?" "No," said the waitress, "that is a pea." "But," said the fan, "that is here within my coffee cup-- "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." "Bouncing potatoes, bouncing potatoes, You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." And he sang when he saw what the waitress put before him there, "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." "What is this piece of gray-green greasy Limpopo, All set about with a strange fever tree?" "That," said the waitress, "is roast beef and salad too." "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." "Bouncing potatoes, bouncing potatoes, You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." And he sang when he saw what the waitress put before him there, "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." "Is this a hippie-type that I see before me here? It is as unshaven as hairy can be." "No," said the waitress, "that is your ice cream dessert-- "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." "Bouncing potatoes, bouncing potatoes, You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." And he sang when he saw what the waitress put before him there, "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." Upchucked the trufan, leaped into the swimming pool. "You'll never bake me alive!" cried he. But his ghost can be heard by the call-girls at that swimming pool: "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." "Bouncing potatoes, bouncing potatoes, You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me." And he sang when he saw what the waitress put before him there, "You'll come a-bouncing, potatoes, with me."