Who You Gonna Trust
Words by Joe Ficklin
TTTO The Heart of the Appaloosa by Fred Small

Exams were done and buried, I was headed for the street
When I met a shy recruiter who was working for the Fleet
“In four years, be an admiral, with women at your side,”
My first mistake was trusting him… Wouldn’tcha-know, he lied

The next thing I remember I was clad in StarFleet Red
Living in a hallway closet with a bed above my bed
Sixteen hours on shift, nothing to do when through
I swore I’d never trust another man, and that means you!

	I would rather trust a Klingon
	With a Klingon, you know just where you stand
	Though he might attempt your life
	With a double-bladed knife
	He will do it face-to-face and hand-to-hand

Then I met a Vulcan ambassador on board
Who stood so tall and dignified he could have been a Lord
He never raised his eyebrows, his voice was not unkind
Yet I could hear the clockwork in the logic of his mind

Two hundred years they kept us from reaching for the stars
They kept us home on Terra, they kept us stuck on Mars
They told us that our warp drive would be a certain bust
Then had the gall to ask us all, who are you gonna trust?

	I would rather trust a Klingon
	With a Klingon, you know just where you stand
	Though he might attempt your life
	With a double-bladed knife
	He will do it face-to-face and hand-to-hand

We came across Andorians, with skin of powder blue
And I had to ask myself what do those antennae do?
Their manner was most martial, their boasts were crude and loud
But this much I will give to them, they stand out in a crowd

Then we met our first Ferengi, who were looking for some gold
We traded friendship tokens, the one we gave was promptly sold (on FerengEbay!)
It seems regarding property, our values weren’t the same
If it wasn’t welded to the deck, they considered it fair game

	I would rather trust a Klingon
	With a Klingon, you know just where you stand
	Though he might attempt your life
	With a double-bladed knife
	He will do it face-to-face and hand-to-hand

Romulans are sneaky, and we know they don’t fight fair
They cloak their ships and run away, we never know quite where
Assassination is the means by which their ranks advance
And yet Star Fleet Command would like to give them all a chance

We met them at the Neutral Zone, they disappeared from sight
We caught them on our sensors passing low and to the right
The captain called them on their bluff; they then blew up their ship
We watched the fireworks, it was the highpoint of our trip

	I would rather trust a Klingon
	With a Klingon, you know just where you stand
	Though he might attempt your life
	With a double-bladed knife
	He will do it face-to-face and hand-to-hand

Of all the forms encountered on our epic trek through space
None are as predictable as the warrior Klingon race
If they see a door that’s closed, you’ll know they’ll break it down
It makes designing fields of fire the easiest things around

They jump in without looking, they yell their battle cry
And everybody knows today is a very good day to die
You signed me up for Star Fleet, I nearly didn’t make it through
And now I guess today will be a very good day for you

	I would rather trust a Klingon
	With a Klingon, you know just where you stand
	Though he might attempt your life
	With a double-bladed knife
	He will do it face-to-face and hand-to-hand



Tagged: star trek, military life, redshirts