Version 1 → 2

Lyrics

1C F1C F
2One night a month since last October all our data had been trashed2One night a month since last October all our data had been trashed
3 C F G73 C F G7
4Some called it software pirates, others said the disk had crashed4Some called it software pirates, others said the disk had crashed
5 C F5 C F
6The boss called me and Joe vanHelsing, and he said ``you two are bright,6The boss called me and Joe vanHelsing, and he said “you two are bright,
7 C Em Am7 C Em Am
8I don't care how you do it, but I want it fixed tonight.''8I don't care how you do it, but I want it fixed tonight.“
99
10Am Dm10Am Dm
11Well, we came in after dinner and the place was like a tomb,11Well, we came in after dinner and the place was like a tomb,
12 Am Em12 Am Em
13and the pale florescents' flicker cast cold shadows in the room,13and the pale florescents' flicker cast cold shadows in the room,
14 Am Dm14 Am Dm
15we ran all the diagnostics; the results were looking great,15we ran all the diagnostics; the results were looking great,
16 Am Em Am16 Am Em Am
17So we loaded the debugger and we settled down to wait.17So we loaded the debugger and we settled down to wait.
1818
19Then the minutes passed like hours, and the hours felt like days,19Then the minutes passed like hours, and the hours felt like days,
20and the console seemed to shimmer in a caffeine-loaded haze,20and the console seemed to shimmer in a caffeine-loaded haze,
21Till a little after midnight as the full moon reached its height21Till a little after midnight as the full moon reached its height
22And it shone in through the skylight with a pale and sickly light.22And it shone in through the skylight with a pale and sickly light.
2323
24Then the moonlight touched the console, and it crawled along the floor24Then the moonlight touched the console, and it crawled along the floor
25Till it reached the old six-fifty in the corner by the door,25Till it reached the old six-fifty in the corner by the door,
26It must be thirty years since that machine was last plugged in,26It must be thirty years since that machine was last plugged in,
27But when the moonlight touched it, that old drum began to spin!27But when the moonlight touched it, that old drum began to spin!
2828
29As the drum spun up we heard it--a sad, unearthly wail29As the drum spun up we heard it--a sad, unearthly wail
30And the vacuum tubes were glowing with a lustre grim and pale30And the vacuum tubes were glowing with a lustre grim and pale
31The console typer rattled with a sound like shaken bone,31The console typer rattled with a sound like shaken bone,
32And we watched in growing horror as a cord snaked toward the phone.32And we watched in growing horror as a cord snaked toward the phone.
3333
34The mainframe's modem answered the 650's ghostly call:34The mainframe's modem answered the 650's ghostly call:
35``You vill send to me your data, and then erase it all!''35“You vill send to me your data, and then erase it all!“
36And the modem beeped and twittered as the mainframe lost its mind;36And the modem beeped and twittered as the mainframe lost its mind;
37``My God!'' cried Joe van Helsing, ``That's a vampire on the line!''37“My God!“ cried Joe van Helsing, “That's a vampire on the line!“
3838
39I slammed the mainframe's reset switch so fast I broke my hand,39I slammed the mainframe's reset switch so fast I broke my hand,
40Joe dove at the six-fifty; I didn't see him land;40Joe dove at the six-fifty; I didn't see him land;
41He ripped its cover open, and I heard him give a shout,41He ripped its cover open, and I heard him give a shout,
42Then there came a harsh metallic scream, and all the lights went out.42Then there came a harsh metallic scream, and all the lights went out.
4343
44I pulled Joe from the wreckage by the pale moon's waning light;44I pulled Joe from the wreckage by the pale moon's waning light;
45He was out cold but still breathing; I hoped he'd be all right.45He was out cold but still breathing; I hoped he'd be all right.
46And by the moon's last glimmer, I could make out what he'd done--46And by the moon's last glimmer, I could make out what he'd done--
47He had wedged his silver tieclip in the thing's magnetic drum.47He had wedged his silver tieclip in the thing's magnetic drum.
4848
49When the grey dawn lit the windows, Joe finally came to,49When the grey dawn lit the windows, Joe finally came to,
50He looked like death warmed over, but he knew just what to do,50He looked like death warmed over, but he knew just what to do,
51So we got some silver solder, tied its input pins to ground,51So we got some silver solder, tied its input pins to ground,
52And jabbed a wood stake through the drum--I still can hear that sound.52And jabbed a wood stake through the drum--I still can hear that sound.
5353
54(back to first melody via G and C)54(back to first melody via G and C)
55Our boss came in that morning and he asked, ``How was your night?''55Our boss came in that morning and he asked, “How was your night?“
56Joe answered, ``Well, we found it--just a vampire MegaByte'',56Joe answered, “Well, we found it--just a vampire MegaByte“,
57And then we saw the console; the boss said, ``Now what's this hack?''57And then we saw the console; the boss said, “Now what's this hack?“
58On the screen in firy letters was the message--``I'll be back!''58On the screen in firy letters was the message--“I'll be back!“

Notes

1An old Silicon Valley folktale from the days when men were men and transistors were germanium.1An old Silicon Valley folktale from the days when men were men and transistors were germanium.
22
3This song was nominated for a Pegasus (in the ``best computer song'' category) in 2001, and won Kazoo awards in 2001 (``user unfriendly'') and 2007 (``devils and other malevolent spirits'').3This song was nominated for a Pegasus (in the “best computer song“ category) in 2001, and won Kazoo awards in 2001 (“user unfriendly“) and 2007 (“devils and other malevolent spirits“).