Three Kobolds in a Trenchcoat

Late one night before the tavernkeeper shut his door A wobbly gentleman came in, his footing was unsure Moustachioed and handsome, and his clothing touched the floor He was no man at all, he was three kobolds in a trench coat One’s on the bottom, strong is he Two’s in the middle, carrying Three Three’s pretending not to be three kobolds in a trench coat One day when a maiden was out on her nightly stroll She got lost in the forest and was set on by a gnoll When in there stepped a gentleman, moustachioed and tall He was no help at all cause he’s three kobolds in a trench coat One’s on the bottom, strong is he Two’s in the middle, carrying Three Three’s pretending not to be three kobolds in a trench coat Once there was a king who was a scourge upon his land The citizens all wished him dead, his rule they couldn’t stand One day he just fell dead on the pavement by no hand He happened to have died next to three kobolds in a trench coat One’s on the bottom, strong is he Two’s in the middle, carrying Three Three’s pretending not to be three kobolds in a trench coat The people of the kingdom, the man’s praises they did sing Believing that he was the one who slew their awful king Put on his head a crown, and to the throne they did him bring But little did they know he was three kobolds in a trench coat One’s on the bottom, strong is he Two’s in the middle, carrying Three Three’s pretending not to be three kobolds in a trench coat It didn’t take them long to hate their brand new overlord He butchered up the tax code and put rebels to the sword From out of his own kingdom he was driven by the horde The economy had been ruined by three kobolds in a trench coat One’s on the bottom, strong is he Two’s in the middle, carrying Three Three’s pretending not to be three kobolds in a trench coat One! Two! Three! Three kobolds in a trench coat And if you’re wondering how I sing three part harmony When I am just one man without another to be seen I’m sure the most observant of you already have gleaned That I am not a man, I am three kobolds in a trench coat One’s on the bottom, fiddling free Two’s in the middle keeping the beat I’m pretending not to be three kobolds in a trench coat We’re pretending not to be three kobolds in a trench coat