The History of Filk in Ten Verses or Less

(Tune: Horse-Tamer's Daughter) Dm C F C Dm F C Dm My father was a horse-tamer at the edge of Hali Plain; A Dm C Dm A I've cut the song by forty verses and sixty-three refrains. Dm C F C A girl, a rock, an equine band, a tower that once fell down -- Dm F C Dm A Dm C And a group of lords without the sense to avoid dear Hali Town. F C Dm A They came, they fought, they all got whipped and it only took three hours; Dm C F C A Dm C Dm And now the chick with the horse-band quick is the keeper of Hali Tower. Dm C F C Dm C Dm And you'll never hear it sung unless on a dare or a bet; Dm C F C Dm C Dm It's sixty verses long with a tune that you can't forget Dm A F C A And when the moon is high and the song's stuck in your head Dm C F C F C Dm You may wish that you could die or hear Captain Jack instead! (Tune: Captain Jack and the Mermaid) D G D Captain Jack was a young man when he went to sea D G D All me young ladies go and kiss him good-bye. D G D We learn this is true right in verse twenty-three. D G D Oh, tell him young ladies go and tell him for me C A D We've got seventy folks here all singing off key! Dm C Am Dm It's a beautiful song when you hear it once through; F A7 After seventeen times it starts wearing on you. Dm C Am Dm And you wish you could just say, "go jump in a lake." Dm G F Dm And you think this request might have been a mistake. Dm C Am Dm There's a boy, and a boat and a watery swirl F A7 And a mermaid he chooses, and ditches his girl. Dm C Am Dm She gets spurned so that he can be drowned like a king, Dm G F Dm And like all girls in folk songs she goes off to sing...oh... (Tune: Banned from Argo) G C G C G Banned from Argo tells a tale of Starfleet folks at play C G D They wreck the whole damn planet and no one wants them to stay. G C G C G It takes a couple hours to sing -- each Ensign gets a verse -- C G D D7 G As bawdy as you think that gets, I swear to you, it's worse. C G Singing Banned from Argo is a chore. C G D7 Please ban Argo, I don't want to anymore. G D C G There's several thousand variants; a few I can't believe. D7 G Sing something else or else we're gonna leave. (Tune: The Ferryman) Am G Em The storm had turned vicious; the lake was unsafe. Am Em Am Why should this require sixty-two lines? D Am The young girl said hey, could you please get me home, D C E E7 Cause it's two hours past curfew time. Am G The rest of the story I need not re-tell Am D They say that the end's a surprise. C Am D F If you've ever told ghost stories 'round a campfire, G Em Am You'll know that this statement's a lie. F Am Ferryman, ferryman, where have you gone? F Am G He fled from the room when the first chords were played. Am G C F Filksingers, filksingers, please change the song Am G Am Or I'll start to regret that I've stayed. (Tune: Never Set the Cat on Fire) C F G C Oh there are songs both short and sweet, But this is not one of them. F G We save them as a last resort, Although some people love them... F C F G Now everybody writes a verse, And things keep getting worse and worse... C G C It's turned into a late-night choir. C F G C We think it started as a joke, But suffered from expansion F G And somewhere in there, good sense broke (And with it went the scansion). F C F G If PETA ever hears this song, We won't be singing very long --- C G C They might come set the filk on fire! F G C F G I tried to sum up several songs you just might hear, C G C And now you know which ones to fear!