The Comforts of Home Words by Bob Kanefsky © 1997-04-28, music by Rand Bellavia and Adam English TTTO HomeI need a place where I can go. I need it soon or I may blow up. I need a place where I can throw up Replicated food that's even worse than home. I need a room for my relief. I need a room for quick debriefing. Twice a day and once each evening, I need a place where I can be alone. I don't care if the ship's high tech. I don't care if it has a holodeck. I don't care if there's life support. Okay I guess I need the life support. But anything beyond that, I don't care, As long as there's a place somewhere a man can go. How we've tried to find it! Tore apart the bridge and looked behind it. Who approved this ship and just who the hell designed it? We'll have to have a word with them when we get home. How we would have filled it! Engineering even tried to build it. Budget overruns are all that ultimately killed it, For plasma phase inversion tubes alone. And even though your guts may ache I know that you will make it So you'll find a place to go Right into space. Who checks the air locks anyhow? A million years from now it may reach home.