Teethies in my Feet Words by Zion Valencic © Feb 2026 TTTO The Old Gray Mare by Thomas Francis McNultyD Woke up this morn with teeth growing from my feet, A D What a crazy feat, teeth poking through my sheets! D How will I work or even walk the streets? A D Teethies in my feet! D G D D G D Teethies in my feet! Teethies in my feet! D How will I work or even walk the streets? A D Teethies in my feet! D Who should I call, a dentist or podiatrist? A D I wasn’t told by Kafka’s metamorphosis. D Insurance says, gotta go to a generalist, A D They say therapist! D G D D G D Teethies in my feet! Teethies in my feet! D Insurance says, gotta go to a generalist, A D They say therapist! D The doctor says its prob’ly anxiety, A D Oh the barbarity, I got a footy cavity! D For all of this, gotta pay an arm and leg in fees, A D Oh calamities! D G D D G D Teethies in my feet! Teethies in my feet! D For all of this, gotta pay an arm and leg in fees A D Oh calamities! D They send me to a gastro-anthro-pologist, A D A never ending line of go “ask your mom or dad”ists. D Ain’t no way that I’m adult enough for this, A D Back to the therapist! D G D D G D Teethies in my feet! Teethies in my feet! D Ain’t no way that I’m adult enough for this, A D Back to the therapist! D Wait a sec, I look about my habitat, A D Sit up straight and twist like an acrobat D All the teeth protruding from my feet so flat A D Are my hungry cat’s! D G D D G D Teethies in my feet! Teethies in my feet! D All the teeth protruding from my feet so flat A D Are my hungry cat’s!