Shrimp-Jesus Words by Zion Valencic © Feb 2026 TTTO Snow Beast by Leslie FishGrandma scrolling on the web, Caught in Facebook’s flow and ebb. Saw a Jesus and shrimp-blend, Wondered why it doesn’t trend. Pants too tight, light too green, Things aren’t always what they seem Count the fingers, count the toes, Treat A.I. like fairy foes. “I love you,” Shrimp-Jesus said, “I’ve returned, I am not dead. Made of prawn, God’s glory too. Won’t you send me to your crew.” Pants too tight, light too green, Things aren’t always what they seem Count the fingers, count the toes, Treat A.I. like fairy foes. Long brown hair and arms of krill, She promised she’d do his will. Foolish grandma didn’t think, Why he wiggled and was pink. Pants too tight, light too green, Things aren’t always what they seem Count the fingers, count the toes, Treat A.I. like fairy foes. She did not think to disengage, She posted him to her own page. She said, “creatures know their God, Not just shrimp, also the cod.” Pants too tight, light too green, Things aren’t always what they seem Count the fingers, count the toes, Treat A.I. like fairy foes. After he was welcomed in, Shrimp-Jesus pried off his shrimp skin. Underneath the sacred ‘art,’ The ohs and ones of a bot fart. Pants too tight, light too green, Things aren’t always what they seem Count the fingers, count the toes, Treat A.I. like fairy foes. All that night on every page, A.I. slop on a rampage Every piece of art he ate, Consumed its soul to re-create. Pants too tight, light too green, Things aren’t always what they seem Count the fingers, count the toes, Treat A.I. like fairy foes. For funny memes and shrimpy gods, For phony news and puppy dogs, Truth and art were slaughtered all, Because we let our caution fall. Pants too tight, light too green, Things aren’t always what they seem Count the fingers, count the toes, Treat A.I. like fairy foes. Treat A.I. like fairy foes.