Red Dragon Blues
Words and music by Joe Ficklin


Come listen to my story, my tale to tell
There’s not much time left, I’m not doing so well
I’ve been getting so thin, I’ve been losing weight
And I’m fast approaching my ultimate fate

I’ve been living in this valley for a thousand years
Wreaking havoc on the humans, causing grief and tears
And they swore they would get me and sent out their best
But I’ve killed those fools and terrified the rest

So they settled on another cheating strategy
That’s resulted in my current state of tragedy
I’m destined to die, they have found a way
For there’s not a single virgin in the valley today

	Oh, oh, what’s a dragon to lunch on
	When there’s not a maiden to munch on
	It’s a tale so sad you just gotta cry
	That the very last dragon is going to die

I have feasted on cattle, I can feed on sheep
I can eat a whole horse before it can leap
But they all lack a nutrient essential to me
For I just can’t live without vitamin V

	Oh, oh, what’s a dragon to lunch on
	When there’s not a maiden to munch on
	It’s a tale so sad you just gotta cry
	That the very last dragon is going to die

It’s been a couple years since my last good meal
And unless they’re a maiden then they have no appeal
This valley used to have ‘em, but now times are hard
And all I can figure is that they’ve brought in a bard

	Oh, oh, what’s a dragon to lunch on
	When there’s not a maiden to munch on
	It’s a tale so sad you just gotta cry
	That the very last dragon is going to die