Red Badges
Words by Charlotte Zimmerman
TTTO Man of Red by Kathy Mar

The con has just started; dreams of power fill my head
I sit at all the entrances, my badge is bright and red
But every guest has questions or people they must find
Why do they think that I'm the one with answers on my mind?

	I am in trouble, I'm security.
	I am in trouble, I'm security.

When I volunteered; I was told this would be fun.
What they didn't tell me was just what had to be done
The dealer's room, the Masquerade, room parties and much more
LARPs in all the corners, keep me up 'til well past four.

	I am in trouble, I'm security.
	I am in trouble, I'm security.

Weapons need peace bonding, tie up that naked steel
An escort for their cash box; do they think this badge is real?
Our goal's to help con run smooth and not get in the way
Don't the people realize I don't do this every day?

	I am in trouble, I'm security.
	I am in trouble, I'm security.

Then there is the First-Aid - respond to all in need
But common sense is something that nobody will heed
I am tiered, it's so crazy and I just want out of here
But I know I'll raise my hand to wear this badge next year

	I am in trouble, I'm security.
	I am in trouble, I'm security.
	I am in trouble, I'm security.



Tagged: conventions

Written as a parody to Kathy Mar's "Man of Red" after a filk showcase at CONduit 7. She sang Man of Red and someone in the audience quipped, "Could be the Convention Security Red Badges."  I couldn't get the song or the statement to stop rattling around in my head until I put words to paper. This is the result.