One Size Fits All Words and music by Cynthia McQuillin © 1986C F As any baby’s mother knows, you cannot keep your child in clothes. G F C Just when you find one size to fit, the baby grows right out of it! F And so it was with great delight, while shopping at the mall one night, C F C I saw this wonderful display of baby clothes in bright array. Chorus: G One size fits all, the label said. F C I thought I’d give the thing a try. G Organic symbiotic stuff: F C The latest thing. It was a buy. Compatible with any child, guaranteed, no return or trial, No need to change them, night or day. They process dirt and waste away. Completely safe, they will not burn; they even help the baby learn. You just sit back and watch them thrive; the trick is that the stuff’s alive. CHORUS But in a month, I found I’d tired of the print that I had once admired. But when I tried to change the suit, the thing attacked me. Darn the brute! I tried to cut the fabric through, but the stuff is tough — and wily too. I tugged, I pulled that blasted cloth — and I couldn’t get the damned thing off! CHORUS With babe in arms I found the store where I’d bought the garment weeks before. The salesman smugly shook his head. Not a thing he could do was all he said. He showed the tag’s fine print to me. It has a lifetime guarantee. One size fits all. It’s really true. The fabric simply grows on you.