Mitosis Words and music by Lynn Gold © 2010C F C When a prototype amoeba finds a very special Sheila floating by F Bb G It takes more than just a pseudopod to show that he’s a bifurcating guy C C7 F Fm When a Pelomyxa palustris has found a special miss he wants to woo C G C When your lover’s monocellular you have to make your one cell into two [Chorus] n/c C n/c Em Am Mitosis, mitosis F Fm C It’s the closest that a protozoan’s ever gonna get to making love When a happy Chlamydomona is swimming on his own inside a pond He might wiggle his flagella to another single cell of whom he’s fond Since he’s not heterotrophic it’s not likely that you’ll see him turning green But when things start getting intimate it’s even odds he’s gonna split his genes. [Insert Chorus] F Fm C Some sedentary suctorian ciliates don’t bifurcate, they bud Am D Bb G They split off a younger clone that can go somewhere else where it can suck fresh blood F Fm C When ciliates swap innerds without splitting into two and conjugate Am D Bb G It’s the only other way a pair of protozoans have a chance to date. Certain merozoites only like to do it in mosquitos they infect Haploid gametes fuse to form a diploid zygote, which repeatedly bisects Once they’ve undergone sporogony, they move into saliva just for fun When the girl mosquito sucks face with another bug, the process is redone [Insert Chorus] F Fm (n/c) C It’s the closest that a protozoan’s ever gonna get…… to making love!