Misfit Words by Charlie Hamilton TTTO My Bonnie Lies Over the OceanMy spades were incredibly lousy. My diamonds were worser than that. I was void in my partner's trump suit - I thought that I'd crap in my hat. My partner, he opened with twenty, But I couldn't even respond. So then, when I passed, he had ulcers And figured like he had been conned. Later that night, I'd the twenty, But only one thing fouled the play: My partner had negative thirteen - And that really ruined my day! CHORUS (finally!) Misfit, misfit What have you done to our game, our game? Screwed it, screwed it. You make me feel mad that 1 came! When, finally, we started to have points, My partner and I were both glad. It turned out that we had a misfit - Right then I was heard to say, "Gad!" Because, you see, I had nine diamonds To one hundred honors at that - For all of the qood that they did me: My partner's void busted them flat. For we ended up in his crap clubs, Of which I had a singleton, And he couldn't even run my suit - Of entries he had not a one, Misfit, misfit What have you done to our game, our game? Screwed it, screwed it. You make me feel mad that 1 came! It turned out that we went down seven, For all our finesse did lose. That six-oh break in clubs did not help, Seemed like it just tightened the screws! At this point we all got disgusted. Said partner to me, "It's sack time!" Our opponents just sat there and giggled - The score then was twelve thou to nine. By now you're probably bored, So I'll make this here the last verse: My moral is really quite simple - In bridge, things go bad to worse! Misfit, misfit What have you done to our game, our game? Screwed it, screwed it. You make me feel mad that I came!