Mis-Conceptions - Mercedes Lackey

I've got a unicorn's horn in the middle of my forehead And the antlers of a stag on either side I've got pointed ears that are something like a deer's Or something like an elf's, I can't decide I've got long green hair to match my flowing emerald mane That turns red with the oak trees every fall With my goat like eyes it comes as no surprise That I've got feathered eyebrows and that isn't all [Chorus] My mother never talks about that orgy And I can't really blame her, much although I'd love to read the guest list for that party And if there's another one like it, let me know Well my vampire's fangs make kissing kind of awkward Like the set of gills implanted in my neck But my chest and arms, aren't the least of all my charms They somehow came out human, what the heck I've got phoenix wings well rooted in my shoulders And I hope you like legs, 'cause I got four The furry forward pair, would make a lion stare Because they end in dragon claws that wreck the floor [Chorus] I suspect my body's mostly like a centaur's Though my fur is somewhat tiger like you'll find And if you'd fear that my legs in front were weird You should only see the pair that walk behind 'Cause they start off looking something like a horse's But they're covered up with feathers not with hair And they end in hoofs like an antelope's which proves That there's nothing that the traffic will not bear [Chorus] Now my tail is really something very special Though you wouldn't think so seeing it at all For it's long and green, like my hair and mane you've seen And like them it turns red with every fall But beneath that hair, which is really quite attractive The stinger of a manticore is hid So you surely see, when you look at all of me That I really wish I knew, what mother did! My mother never talks about that orgy And I can't really blame her, much although I'd love to read the guest list for that party And if there's another one like it, let me know, 'cause I wanna go If there's another one like it, let me know