Michael the Rescue Programmer
Words by Andrew Nicholls © 2026-07-29
TTTO Ghostbusters

When your build will not compile And your tests are glowing red, Who you gonna call? Rescue programmer! When the prod server's down And your on-call's filled with dread, Who you gonna call? Rescue programmer! He ain't scared of no bug, He ain't scared of no crash, He'll read your whole stack trace And he'll patch it in a flash! When the whole repo's on fire And your weekend plans are dead, Who you gonna call? Rescue programmer! (the send-off) Now he's handed in his thesis, Got a doctorate ahead But we'll always wanna call Rescue programmer! Michael! (Rescue programmer!) Bye, Michael! (Rescue programmer!)