Meat Words and music by Kathleen Sloan © 1997We travel ‘cross the galaxy in search of life, to contact, log and welcome is our task But the only sentient race that we have found here, you won’t believe, it’s hard to even ask! They’re made out of meat, nothing but meat They’re meat when they’re born, meat when they die and nothing but meat in between They’re made out of meat, completely meat This is inconceivable, what are we to do? (alt voice) Calm down, that can’t be the explanation What about their messages to the stars? We’ve intercepted radio waves a plenty Surely meat couldn’t have sent those? (first voice) The radio waves are made by machines (alt voice) Who made the machines, that’s who we really want to meat (interesting choice of words there) (first voice) Meat made the machines, all the machines Yes, this meat is sentient, what are we to do (alt voice) Maybe they are only part meat A meat head with a plasma brain inside or they’re carbon based and go through a meat stage We’ve seen races such as these far and wide (You’re not listening are you?) (first voice) They’re made out of meat, all the way through We’ve probed enough of them to know, there’s no doubt it’s true We’ve studied them well, through several life spans (which didn’t take long, do you have any idea how short the life span of meat is?) This is unbelievable, what are we to do (alt voice) If they’re only meat, then what does the thinking? Are you telling me they don’t have a brain? (first voice) You’re not getting what I’m trying to tell you So I’ll repeat it for you once again They’re made out of meat, the brain’s made of meat Conscious meat, thinking meat, meat that loves and dreams They’re made out of meat, completely meat Meat that’s tried to contact us for hundreds of their years (alt voice) Omigod ! you’re really not kidding So what does this meat have in mind? (first voice) It wants to share ideas and information And contact other races not its kind (alt voice) So what do we say to pieces of meat (hey meat.... what’s cooking?) Can we use our radio will they understand a thing? (first voice) They make sounds with meat, flapping meat If they squirt air through their meat, they can even sing So tell me please what do you advise here (alt voice) Officially or unofficially? (first voice) Well we’re supposed to contact all sentient races But I suggest we wipe the records thouroughly (alt voice) Oh yes I agree but how will this work How many planets are there, can we contain them all? Can we pretend there’s nobody home that no one came to answer their interstellar call (first voice) They must travel in special meat containers Without these they can’t go anyplace at all And meat is limited to C-space So their chance of finding us is very small (alt voice) The ones that you probed, what will they say? (first voice) We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat They’ll think that they’re nuts, or we’re just a dream We’ll mark this place “ unoccupied” case closed, nice and neat (alt voice) Are there any others here for us to contact (first voice) Yes a star cluster who wants to be friends (both) They always come around to want to join us And why not? (first voice) How unbearable it would be to be alone.