If You Could Code in COBOL
Words by James T. Taylor and Tom "The2x4" Bickmore © 2009
TTTO If You Could Hie to Kolob by William W. Phelps

If you could code in COBOL Or master old FORTRAN Or do your work in BASIC, You'd be back where you began. Do you think that you could make a Simple game of tic-tac-toe? Or even play Sudoku? Well, the answer's probably "no." Or fight your way through Pascal Without leaving out the "end" Or Lisp and sputter oddly As your logic you expend Methinks you'll find your talents Don't include Prolog or C If you're really simple-minded, Better stick to data entry. The drudgery must continue You will learn Python and Perl At which point you'll start to speak it And you'll never find a girl. Or get stuck at a symposium Writing filk and trading quotes With a load of Monty Python And Douglas Adams jokes. There is no end to software And nerds can do no wrong With exceptions made for hackers And the guys who wrote this song. There is no end to sci-fi There is no end to books Where fantasy meets space wars There is no concern for looks There is no end to learning There is no end to bunk There is no end to filking And my druid kicks your junk. There is no place I'd rather Get to know my inner geek Such a shame I'll have to wait now For fifty-two more weeks.