I Hope They Put Me in a Filk Song

F Bb F Bb I hope they call me on a mission F Bb F Bb To boldly go where none have gone F Bb F Bb To find an alien or a planet F Am Bb C7 F Bb I just can’t wait to put that classy red shirt on. (1: Dammit Jim, I’m a redshirt not a doctor) (2: Illogical) I hope they call me as a hunter To slaughter vamps and werewolves too, And if a demon tries to gank me I’ll die and die again as hunters seem to do. (1: Cas!) (2: Dean!) (1: Cas!!) (2: Dean!!) (1: Sammy!!!!) I hope one day I’ll leave this planet. I’m really sick of all this sand. I’ll learn to fight with a lightsaber, Then learn to fight again with just a single hand. (1: This is not the verse you’re looking for) (2: Filk or do not Filk, there is no try) I hope one day to be a hobbit, I’ll live inside a hobbit hole. And when adventure comes a callin’ I’ll shut the door and eat some mushrooms in a bowl. (1: Half of these verses are twice as good as they deserve to be) (2: Fool of a Took!) When I am ten I’ll be a trainer I’ll get a tiny pikachu. He’ll shock me to Viridian city Unless I’m in a coma ‘til I’m thirty-two. (1: Who's that Pokemon? That’s right it’s pikach--) (2: VAPOORRREEEEOOON!!!) I wish someone would call my phone box It’s awfully lonely to be me And if they ask, “Are you my mummy?” I’d answer, “If you’d like, your mummy I could be.” (1: Timey whimy wibbly wobbly stuff) (2: It goes ding when there’s stuff.) One day I hope to join the scout corps And kill the titans til they’re dead I’ll dedicate my heart to freedom And though I’ll train real hard, I’ll probably lose my head. (1: Eren Yeager) (2: Oi oi oi oi oi) (1: Shinzou wo sasageyo!) I’d really like to punch some Nazis I’ll fight and kick them where it aches And when I try to steal their treasure I fall in snakes, oh crap, why is it always snakes? (2: I hate snakes) I hope I make it to the Good Place When I have died a tragic death. Have cocktail shrimps and margaritas ‘Cuz I’m more ethical than you, ya basic bench. (1: Holy mother-forking shirt balls.) (2: Ya put the filk in the children’s song and make it taste. . .) (1: Bad.) One day I’ll be a dreadful pirate And rescue a princess from her foe. But she will push me off a mountain I'll yell "as-you-wish" as tumbling down and down I go. (1: You know what? I am not left handed.) (2: Only ten percent of people are left handed.) One day I hope to be a blogger I’ll write about my hot roommate How he fights crime with his sharp cheekbones Despite what Hudson says, I swear we’re really straight. (1: We’re not gay!) (2: Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) One day I’ll be a prince of Narnia In a castle filled with Turkish sweets It’s fine to take candy from strangers Who promise that my siblings all will bow to me. (2: Symbolism is stupid.) (1: If anyone doesn’t understand that the big lion is Jesus, then I’ll cry myself to sleep.) For now I guess I’ll be a filker As if I really have a choice So while I’m stuck at this convention I’ll sing and sing and sing until I lose my voice. (1&2: wheezing and dying)