Grandma’s Training Bra Words and music by Lynn Gold © 1999G When momma was a little girl she liked to run and play C G But when she hit her teenaged years her bosom buddies strayed C G My grandma took my mom aside and said don’t be depressed Am7 C G I have a little something for you in my cedar chest G Em C It was white with two white straps; a little satin bow Am7 D7 G A pair of lycra panels that hold you as you grow G Em C Two rows of white enameled clasps to hold you tight like claws D7 It covered up her baby boobies (n/c) G Em C Am D Grandma’s Training Bra When I got into feminism, bonfires were the thing I hadn’t yet developed, yet I knew just what to bring I tore inside that cedar chest and finally staked my claim But even using lighter fluid, it wouldn’t hold a flame It was white with two white straps; a little satin bow A pair of lycra panels that hold you as you grow Two rows of white enameled clasps to hold you tight like claws A little charred around the edges Grandma’s Training Bra I went to college, got a job with a software company Nearby the city by the bay I got married, had a daughter She grew normal, just like me Until one strange and fateful day My little girl came home from school; her face was full of joy She said, “Mama, I’d like for you to meet a special boy. I’d like to give him something that would help him to feel nice.” She tore into that cedar chest, and pulled out a surprise It was white with two white straps; a little satin bow A pair of lycra panels that hold you as you grow Two rows of white enameled clasps to hold you tight like claws My son-in-law, he’s quite the shocker He likes to wear it with his boxers Grandma’s Training Bra