Dracula's Dying - Leslie Fish

G D G C This is the last vampire song, the end of a thousand-year blast. D D7 It wasn't the sun, or a stake, stopped my fun; G Pollution has got me at last! D G G7 C I've feasted on Humans for ages, and they swore that they'd get me someday, G But I never expected the trick they selected. D G I should have stayed out of L.A.! D C G Chorus: Oh, my friends, ol' Dracula's dying. C G D I'll do no more flying and batting about. C G Oh, my friends, shed a tear on the coffin C G D G You carry me off in. I'm on my way out. The night I arrived was a hot one. The sky was like cod-liver oil. The inversion-layer that thickened the air Made flying impossible toil. When I changed to a wolf I got clobbered by 17 cars and a truck. When I turned into fog I got mingled with smog, And my cells all got loaded with muck. I finally found someone walking, but the feast got me nothing but pain. When I nipped at his neck, it was loaded with dreck. The bastard was stoned on cocaine! The next was a PCP-bummer. The next took the whole kitchen sink. I tried, up and down, half the blood in this town And there isn't a drop fit to drink! Don't ever stash coffins in culverts, lest floods or the freeways break through. The noise overhead would awake the Undead, And the taxes drain more blood than you! On all fronts this town has undone me: succeeded in pulling my cork. But this much I'll say, as I die of L.A.: It isn't as bad as New York!