Dear Departed
Words by Bob Kanefsky © 1988-10-11
TTTO Velveteen by Kathy Mar

When I was boxed and laid to rest beneath the lily field,
I didn’t know that there were those to whom the dead appealed.
The earthworms and bacteria have left their marks behind,
But if someone can love me still, I’m sure that I won’t mind.

	It might be just my luck some weirdo will choose me for the one,
	And dig me up each evening long enough to have his fun.

And now some drunken sailor has decided to get fresh,
In spite of my protruding bones and decomposing flesh.
I lie there, only watching, as I often did in life.
But to him my unresponsiveness makes me the perfect wife.

	And it was just my luck some weirdo would choose me for the one.
	He digs me up each evening long enough to have his fun.

Now all you ladies worried that your love will be untrue,
And all you men who want a girl who won’t care what you do,
Just take your cue from Faulkner(1), or from Poul and Passovoy (2),
And find some dear departed whose cadaver to enjoy.

	Just find an isolated graveyard with carcasses to steal,
	Though the stench may be disgusting   quite enough to make you reel.



Canonical source: https://songworm.com/lyrics/songworm-parody/DearDeparted.html
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Tagged: death, necrophilia, squick

Inspired by Dead Girl Polka , Frank Hayes’ sendup of Mary O’Meara to the tune of Roll Out the Barrel, plus an unrelated serious song, Mary’s Reply (by Sandra Miesel, on Margaret Middleton at Bayfilk I)

1. A Rose For Emily by William Faulkner (1892-1962)
There is also a Julia Ecklar song about it; same title, on Horsetamer’s Daughter.

2. Mary O’Meara: lyrics by Poul Anderson, tune adapted by Ann Passovoy.