Among all the legends of chewing gum they say
There is a stretch of flavor that never goes away
Deep in your closet, all through your classroom
Under the seat of your chair:
Chew on it if you dare!
Be it may a part of LaBrea, it's something older by far:
Call it Wrigley's, Trident, Carefree, Tar.
It offers two versions that bring you nigh to death -
One takes your teeth and the other steals your breath;
If there's a third one it's an absurd one
Chew for yourself, the expense
Costs only thirty cents.
Name your brand you have to command to give your mouth something to do
And maybe you'd be better off with glue.
One old bubble-blower, I know what price he paid
When he found a wad 'way back in second grade;
He started chewing - speech was abridged
Cementing his words deep inside
He was just mortar-fied
There've been dentists and orthodontists who've tried to get through that jaw;
But now he sips his supper through a straw.
Whoever has wisdom (teeth) can guess what lies in store -