Black Widows in the Privy
Words and music by Heather Rose Jones © 1983


Am             Dm              Am
Everyone knows someone we'd be better off without,
                     Am                            E
But best not mention names, for we know not who's about.
    Am           Dm          Am                E
But why commit a murder, and risk the fires of Hell,
           Am            Dm        Am    E       Am
When black widows in the privy can do it just as well?


     Am                 Dm           Am
Now, poison's good, and daggers, and arrows in the back,
                     Am                               E
And if you're really desperate, you can try a front attack.
    Am              Dm            Am            E
But are they really worthy of the risk of being caught
           Am            Dm         Am     E         Am
When black widows in the privy need not be bribed or bought?


    Am                Dm                 Am
So, if there's one of whom you wish most simply to be rid,
                          Am                                 E
Just wait 'til dark, then point the way to where the widow's hid.
    Am              Dm                     Am              E
And say to them, "I think you'll find that this one is the best."
          Am            Dm         Am     E      Am
And black widows in the privy will gladly do the rest.