An Asteroid Named Rest Stop - Leslie Fish and Julia Ecklar

A E A When Ah pull the Three-Oh-Seven out of Marsport D A E The weather-station said, "Storms all the way." A E A They stuck me with a corgo of live checkins, D E A dozen drunken miners, and five hung-over Shriners A D A Now the brake jet linin's all were worn and pitted D A E And the gasket on the corgo hatch was gorne A E A Ah figgered we could get as fur as Phobos D E A But Ah didn't think we'd get much further orn. Chorus: D A And Ah'm looking fur an asteroid named Res'-Stop D A Relief driver damn-well better be waitin' fur me there A 'Cause after fifteen 'ours of bussin' D Third-class corgo and riders cussin' A E A I jus' mite drive to blazes and not care. A E A Ah chugged orn up to Phobos on our las' fumes D A E And prayed their engineers could heal mah jets A E A 'Cause storms had broke the locks and freed the checkins D E They wuz crappin' on the miners, and runnin' from the Shriners A D A 'Til mah jets were full of feathers and limp fezzes D A E And the two latrines were backed up in the haul A E A With checkin crap and ore dust orn mah main bridge D E A I could only hope that Phobos heard mah call. And Ah'm looking fur an asteroid named Res'-Stop Relief driver damn-well better be waitin' fur me there 'Cause after fifteen 'ours of bussin' Third-class corgo and riders cussin' I jus' mite drive to blazes and not care. At Phobos port they held me up in docking Then stuck me off in bay One-Seventeen (downwind!) The custom man walked in, breathed once and fainted Then got up, ran out and screamed fur a fumigation team The passengers ran fur the door and jammed it It took a quarter-'our to haul 'em cleer Ah found a bar and broke some regulations Then Ah went out looking fur an engineer. And Ah'm looking fur an asteroid named Res'-Stop Relief driver damn-well better be waitin' fur me there 'Cause after fifteen 'ours of bussin' Third-class corgo and riders cussin' I jus' mite drive to blazes and not care. Ah found this Joe Von Krugan orn a barstool So drunk orn coolant fumes he couldn't stand Ah tol' him Ah could pay him in fresh checkins If he'd try to fix mah drive so Ah could leave that port alive He staggered to mah ship and stood there laffin' While bedraggled, spaced-out checkins filled the air He sat down orn the nearest passed-out Shriner And he said, "Jes' shoot the ship--it's only fair." And Ah'm looking fur an asteroid named Res'-Stop Relief driver damn-well better be waitin' fur me there 'Cause after fifteen 'ours of bussin' Third-class corgo and riders cussin' I jus' mite drive to blazes and not care. Ah call the third-shift office and they tol' me "Son, there's no replacement short o' your next stop." Ah paid out four fat checkins fur a patch-job Got mah riders back orn board--then in came seven more God, they were Martian mercenaries, mean as cat-dirt And some damn-foo' miner offered 'em a fight They wuz hackin' through mah back seats with machetes As Ah cleared that port and drove out through the night. And Ah'm looking fur an asteroid named Res'-Stop Relief driver damn-well better be waitin' fur me there 'Cause after fifteen 'ours of bussin' Third-class corgo and riders cussin' I jus' mite drive to blazes and not care. I locked the port and hole up in the cabin And listen to the ruckus in the rear Then Ah got a wild idea--and cut the G-force And let folks and fowl and all, go mix up in free-fall Now Ah nurse mah rusty engines toward that asteroid When they as' me whut mah corgo is Ah'll say, "It's free-fall Martian stew and checkin gumbo."-- Lord, that station better not be far away. And Ah'm looking fur an asteroid named Res'-Stop Relief driver damn-well better be waitin' fur me there 'Cause after fifteen 'ours of bussin' Third-class corgo and riders cussin' I jus' mite drive to blazes and not care.