A Most Extraordinary Trip

G C We drove back from Ohio D G Dodging blizzard and tornado C G D Until we safely parked the mother ship G C By aliens abducted G D And Geek sirens seducted C D G It was a most extraordinary trip We first went to Ohio To sing a song or five-o Left our mountain sanctuary in the west We thought we’d take I-Eighty Because it was most straighty Which we bizarrely thought would be the best We never thought to ask ya Why we shouldn’t drive Nebraska The odors emanating were “unique” (to say the least) For us the major minuses Are we’ve seemed to have lost our sinuses Which happens when you cross the lands of reek The roads in Illinois Bounced our vehicle like a toy Like a rubber ball upon a trampoline By contrast Indiana Was as bland as a banana All beige and brown with ne’er a hint of green A weekend in Columbus With Pegasi Alumnus We could have stayed and sang for months and years But Monday came too quickly And although the sky was sickly We soon saw Ohio in rearward mirrors The wind was harsh and howling Like the fans of J.K. Rowling (Hey! You know how hard it is to come up with a rhyme for “howling?”) The van was rocking, but it wasn’t all that fun I-Seventy was calling As the raindrops started falling And thick black clouds went scudding past the sun Tornados started dropping But we could not be stopping Except for gas and certain bodily needs We heard a raucous crying As a flock of crows went flying Blown past us at supersonic speeds The world dissolved in gloom And exit signs read “doom” As Zeus himself went striding, lightning veiled Four horsemen crossed the highway And started running my way But retreated… when suddenly it hailed The landscape started boiling The road was flexing, roiling An off ramp disappeared down into Hell As far as we could see The road ahead was free All the trucking rigs in front were gone as well Not sure what to do The driver without clue He decided it’d be best if we pressed on He set the cruise control As the world around us rolled It looked like Ragnarok had just begun Well we made it home alive At hour thirty-five Two thousand miles driving through the wind The papers would proclaim A class three hurricane Equivalent had ripped the hinterland Now our alien crew Sans a siren, or two Next year we will be Ohio bound Cause we fear no living creature Or any force of nature But Nebraska we’ll be sure to go around