307 Ale Words and music by Tom Smith © 1989There's many drinks you'll drink, me lads, on every world that's new. There's Saurian Brandy, Cran Apple Schnapps, and a good old Tullamore Don't. There's Busch and Beck and Bud and Boch and others dark and pale, But I think you'll find the finest kind is Three Oh Seven Ale. Chorus: Three Oh Seven Ale, me lads, Three Oh Seven Ale, The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale, It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale, There's nothing that you'll ever taste like Three Oh Seven Ale, me lads, Three Oh Seven Ale. It started out at M.I.T. one lazy summer day, When a couple of the frat boy techies started in to play, They'd caught up on their schedule with a couple hours to kill, So they fitted up the cyclotron and made themselves a still. Three Oh Seven Ale, me lads, Three Oh Seven Ale, The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale, It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale, There's nothing that you'll ever taste like Three Oh Seven Ale, me lads, Three Oh Seven Ale. They added choice ingredients to brew a little brew, But they didn't know the wires were crossed in Chamber Number Two. A tiny bit of space got folded, things were looking queer They turned the spout and then came out the world's first Hyper Beer. Three Oh Seven Ale, me lads, Three Oh Seven Ale, The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale, It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale, There's nothing that you'll ever taste like Three Oh Seven Ale, me lads, Three Oh Seven Ale. It bubbled and it burbled and it glowed a fizzly green, And what it did to test equipment, frankly, was obscene. It took awhile to find a vial it wouldn't burst to flame, Then they measured out its potency, and that's how it was named. Three Oh Seven Ale, me lads, Three Oh Seven Ale, The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale, It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale, There's nothing that you'll ever taste like Three Oh Seven Ale, me lads, Three Oh Seven Ale. There's many drinks you'll drink, me lads, but this one beats them all: One hundred fifty three and one half percent alcohol, A beer, brewed in a tesseract, that'll shoot you through the roof And if you don't believe me, I've got lots and lots of proof. Final chorus: Three Oh Seven Ale, me lads, Three Oh Seven Ale, The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale, It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale, It sticks to your mouth like library paste, With a stronger kick than toxic waste, There's nothing that you'll ever taste Like Three Oh Seven Ale!